Two buts are better than one to fix overthinking
- Kelly Meyer
- Jul 23
- 2 min read
In a previous blog we talked about over-thinking and I offered a tool to help you stop overthinking in its tracks. As a refresher, overthinking is really nothing more than a pause between the decision and the action. It is within that pause that the over-protective ego gets to work. When I work with clients, we re-frame things to get another point of view and re-direct our patterns. With the “but” tool, we’re going to re-frame ego and re-direct it’s patterns to fix overthinking.
The "but" tool is really quite simple. The brain likes to focus on the first and last things it hears. If you ask directions and I say, "Go to the first stoplight, turn right until you hit a highway, then turn left and then left again. Look for the white fence and blue house," the strongest recall will be the stoplight and the house. We're going to use the same process for stopping our over thinking.
Here's how it works: You’ll state a positive; “I’ve committed myself to working out and getting healthy”. Normally, you’ll add a “but” statement that will talk you out of that; “but that pizza is SO good and my muscles would hurt.” Here’s the kicker: Follow your first “but” with another “but” that restates the original positive; “but I’ve committed myself to working out and getting healthy.” No matter how many “buts” and excuses your ego gives, always follow with your original statement.
One of my clients found a powerful way to use that tool to help them quickly defeat their depression. Their problem statement was: “I know I have all the tools to beat my depression but it's just so easy to get sucked back.” By simply adding a final "but", their new statement was: "I know I have all the tools to beat my depression but it's just so easy to get sucked back BUT...I know I have the tools to beat my depression." Their brain was then able to focus on the tools and not getting sucked back.
There are many ways you can use the "but" and you might find yourself using it a lot throughout the day. Your limiting beliefs and your protective ego will always find an excuse why you can't do something. You must be aware of your own self-talk and interrupt it when you need. At that point, you can allow your heart to make the final, positive statement.
Live with love, live with passion.
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